Thursday, May 19, 2011

Worst. Thief in the night. Ever.

You know that psycho-twinkie preacher who's all over the interwebs for predicting the end of the world on Saturday? In addition to being either a towering moron or an exploitative ass, he's also managed to inadvertently excise one of the prime motivators of Christian eschatological theology from his little Ragnarok soiree:

Camping is the self-taught biblical scholar and radio mogul who says the Rapture is happening on Saturday, May 21, at exactly 6 p.m. local time, whatever your local time is.

Local time?!

The whole point of the scare-'em-faithful branch of evangelism is to tell people that by the time evidence arrives, it's too late. "Nope--sorry; you've had your chance. Our omnibenevolent savior will only save the people who were fans before it was cool." If Jesus for some reason decides to rapture people at exactly the rate of the earth's rotation, then most of the world gets plenty of notice.

So on Saturday, just make sure you check the news by four in the evening. If Europe is gone, accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

No comments:

Post a Comment