Monday, November 14, 2011

From that first day...

Yesterday, the ladies and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary.

Now, according to the Wiki page, the first anniversary is either the "paper" or "clock" anniversary, or "cotton" in metric.

Since our floors are already groaning under the weight of our books, and cotton and clocks are lame, I decided it would be more interesting if the first anniversary was the Rifle Anniversary:

From Firearms

[Two-cent piece for scale.]

Now all you ladies out there know what to ask for!

[For all the bullshit in the polyamory "debate", one thing is undeniable: it definitely makes anniversaries more expensive. Nota bene, before starting up that harem.]


  1. I hadn't known there were any other practice-level polyamorists in my blog-circles. Fellow travelers always make one feel less alone.

  2. And I hadn't known you were "one of us", either. Mind if I ask what flavor of polyamorist? It's a term broad enough to be questionably useful, after all. ;)

  3. We've been traveling all over the map for the last ~12 years.

    Wife grew up with a (covert, but obvious) married Poly older sister. I hit Poly in 1993(?) As of 1994, I was operationally poly, but oftentimes NRE'd to a point of non-functional Poly. As of 1998, I was full-time practicing Poly, with long-term poly relationships almost exclusively 1998 through 2005.

    Met wife in 1998, married in 2002, and we were poly pretty solidly to 2007...though we've had difficulties throughout with my wanting not to provide financial support for children that weren't mine. So when we were making babies...that was poly-suspension, for fairness.

    She has a kid from a prior marriage. We have 2 kids since...and we're heavily child-focused as a household. Kids take priority over Poly.

    We were on a poly-break for most of 2007-2010, as we tried to get ourselves back into a groove with one another. We're back to solidly poly, and available, but I'm picky as hell, and she's moderately so too...and so have not yet found any joiners.

    We've tried swinging.

    Our preference is a poly-fi/-gamy but with sex-before marriage...intentional community with partially shared resources...but we haven't found it yet.

    How's about you? feel free to continue this for real by email. My email is

  4. Fascinating. I know almost all one-word relationship descriptors cover a range of behavior (how many "monogamists" have blurrier boundaries than the strictest interpretation would suggest?), but the range of variation of human experience never fails to impress me when it actually comes up.

    Genevieve and I were a couple when we met Danielle and fell for her. The three of us have been together for the better part of a decade; Genevieve and I got legally married in 2008, and the three of us got "married", as you could tell, last year (it would have been earlier, but our plans were delayed when my father passed away).

    The three of us have never been wired for "casual" sex (a term I'm not fond of, but it's standard; no value judgment implied), and are sexually exclusive, though our crossover into the kink culture and burlesque exhibitionism leads to some nuanced borders of what that means. Danielle and I are almost wholly exclusive to our triad by preference (with the aforementioned kink nuances), and Genevieve dates chastely (with the same asterisks) outside the triad. Unchaste dating is open to discussion, but hasn't yet progressed to the point of happening.

    I have no relationship secrets from my blog--polyamory just isn't my primary blogging interest--but if you'd like to be more candid than you're comfortable here, I'm also more than amenable to email. Email is