Cliches that have outlived their usefulness

Dear The Internet,

I'm with you on the convenience of ebooks. DRM stupidity aside, it's extraordinarily handy to have two hundred books in my coat pocket. The space and weight advantage is undeniable, to the point that your little pocket library is often smaller than a single print book.

But for the love of Christ, if you don't stop bitching about how terribly, terribly difficult it is to "lug around" a fourteen ounce book, I'm going to track you down and beat you to death with a block of frozen peas. One "lugs around", I dunno.. A corpse. Or some pig iron. Not a freakin' paperback.

Love,
--
Michael

[CCed to people who complain about the crushing encumbrance of coins, and especially to plastic-only hipsters who get the vapors over "lugging around" paper money.]