Usul, we have nogsign the likes of which even God has never seen.

So for New Year's Eve, I decided we must have eggnog. It's the season, after all, and who can pass up a chance to mix booze with chicken embryos*? But not just any eggnog will do, of course. We needed patriotic nog. The nog of heroes. The nog of George Washington himself. Having read about his recipe in a holiday book description at work, I googled up a copy, buzzed over to the liquor store and supermarket, and got to work.

The first thing this exercise in living history teaches you is that George Washington loved his booze. You start with two cups of brandy.

From Nog Prog

Then add a cup of rye whiskey, a cup of dark Jamaican rum, and a half-cup of cream sherry. That's a quart of hard liquor, plus some fortified wine for good measure.

From Nog Prog

You can see how Washington made it through Valley Forge. Be sure at this point to sample the rum. High quality ingredients are essential. Plus, it's tradition: you're making a cocktail with hard liquor and a bowl of eggs. There's no way this was invented by a sober man.

From Nog Prog

Now separate a dozen eggs. Washington doesn't actually specify how many (by the standards of 18th century recipes, we're lucky he gives quantities for anything), but the online consensus is that twelve is the way to go. You'll end up with one bowl of slime and one bowl of embryos*. Again, this is clearly not sober work.

From Nog Prog

Whip the yolks until smooth, and add twelve tablespoons of sugar. It's about 2/3 of a cup, but I like how specifying a large number of imprecise measures can make the product vary wildly. I used an actual tablespoon rather than a tablespoon measure to make it worse.

Very slowly add the boozemelange while beating the yolks. Then do the same with a quart of milk and a quart of heavy cream. Beat the eggwhites until stiff, then slowly fold them into your pot of milk and boozeyolks. The result is one gallon of eggnog, a quarter of which is hard liquor.

From Nog Prog

Refrigerate for a few days, "tasting frequently". There's really no adjustment you can make after this point, so I think the frequent tasting is really just an excuse to dip into the nog early. Chef's prerogative.

The interesting thing about our batch is that as it's cured over the last couple days, it tastes much less like booze than when it was new. This meshes well with Washington-nog lore, which holds that it's a very dangerous drink to have around. It was at the center of a violent riot at the West Point miltary academy in 1826, that resulted in the disciplining of 51 cadets (including Jefferson Davis) and the courtmartial of nineteen more. I'm expecting a good party tonight. We aren't planning to head over to Washington Crossing and storm across the Delaware into Pennsylvania to slaughter some Hessians, but I make no promises.

[Note of 2010-12-02: I've since learned that the egg yolk is in fact the source of nutrition for the embryo, not the embryo itself. Commercial eggs are, of course, usually unfertilized. This is what happens when you grow up in central Jersey.]