Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I love your little laugh...

Shockingly, a far-right fundamentalist "scholar" long involved in the battle to deny gay Americans equal protection under the law was caught traveling to Europe with a young male prostitute he'd met on rentboy.com.

At this point, reporting that a hyperreligious anti-gay crusader is getting hot man-on-man action* is about as unexpected as reporting that the sun rose this morning. But what made this one stand out was Rekers's excuse:

Reached by New Times before a trip to Bermuda, Rekers said he learned Lucien was a prostitute only midway through their vacation. "I had surgery," Rekers said, "and I can't lift luggage. That's why I hired him."

I hired him to carry my baggage. I freakin' love this. It's as if the guy was reading some H. Rider Haggard novels when the scandal broke, and thought "that's it! I'll tell everybody I was embarking on a search for the fabled Egg of Mantumbi and needed a strapping young man to act as my porter and valet!"

As my friend Craig said, nothing beats the old standard "I was taking him on an all-expense paid vacation to Miami with just the two of us men alone in a hotel room so I could counsel him on the error of his sinful ways" for sheer ballsiness, but serious, serious points for being so disconnected from _any_ reality as to think anybody would believe you thought "rentboy.com" was a placement service for freelance bellhops. I suppose it's possible he googled "man for humping my sacks", but I don't expect too many bellhops' resumes lovingly describe their eight-inch uncut penises (never having worked in hospitality, I can't swear to this).

This is all a good lesson in the value of planning ahead.


[* - Actually, I doubt it's all that hot. Probably more like "tepid, furtive, skeezy man-on-boy action.]

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